1. Why won't men stop and ask for directions?

WHILE men were hunters, they
learned a good sense of direction
and how to retrace their steps
by feel, so they could travel for
a long distances and find their
way home again.

Today, one in three men know
instinctively what way north is
something only one in five women
can do. Women did not venture
alone past the horizon they did
not need to so they learned to
navigate by landmarks. If a
woman could see a tree, or a lake
or a hill, she could find her way
around it and get home again.

This is the key to how a man
should give a woman directions.
If he tells her to go to the road
with the giant oak tree, then head
to the pink building opposite the
supermarket next to the lake,

she'll probably get there. If he
tells her to go up the A435 for two
miles, then to take the third exit
off the second roundabout and
drive four miles north, he may well
never see her again.

For a man to admit he is lost
is to admit failing at his number
one task finding his way. And
he never wants to admit
that especially not to a woman.

SOLUTION: Buy a map and leave
it in the car for him. Print out
directions for your journey from a
website on your computer and
take them with you.

A safe emergency strategy is to
tell him you urgently need the loo,
which will force him to stop
preferably at a service station,
where one of you can ask for
directions.

2. Why do men continually offer
solutions and give advice?

TO appreciate why a man insists
on giving solutions to every little
thing, there are several things
that need to be understood about
the way the male brain works.

Men evolved as hunters, and
their main contribution to the
survival of the human race was
the ability to hit a moving target
so everyone could eat, and so they
could injure anyone who threatened
their families or who wanted
to steal their food.

As a result, men's brains
evolved with a target-hitting area
called the 'visual-spatial' area
that allows them successfully to
carry out their whole reason for being
hitting targets and
solving problems. They
turned into results-oriented
people who measure their
own success by results,
accomplishments and their
ability to come up with
solutions to problems.

As a consequence, a man
still defines who he is, and his
self-worth, by his problem-
solving abilities and achievements.
He feels that he is the
one person most capable of
solving his own problems,
and he does not see the need
to discuss them with any-
body else.

This is why he will rarely
talk about what is bothering
him. He will ask another per-
son's opinion only if he feels
he needs an expert view and
he considers this to be an
intelligent move.

In return, the man who is
asked for his opinion feels
honoured by the request.

Consequently, for a woman
to offer a man advice when he
did not ask for it is seen by
him to be a statement that
she feels he is incompetent
because he can't solve his i
own problems.

A man loves to offer advice
and solutions to others, but
unsolicited advice especially
from a woman is not welcome.

On the other hand, a
woman's brain is organised
for communication through
talking and the main purpose
of the talk is, simply, to
talk. For the most part, she is
not looking for answers, and
solutions are not required.

Herein lies the problem for
most couples. At the end of
the day, she usually wants to
talk about the events in her
day and to share her feelings
but he thinks she is giving
him her problems to fix and
starts to offer solutions. She
then gets upset because he
won't listen to her talking,
and he becomes angry
because she won't accept his
solutions.

He thinks he is being caring
and loving by solving her
problems. She thinks he is
indifferent or is trivialising
her feelings by not listening.

SOLUTION: If a woman is
stressed and needs to talk, a
simple technique is to say to
a man: 'I need to talk with
you about several things. I
don't need any solutions — I
just need you to listen.'

A man will be happy with
this approach because he
knows exactly what he is sup-
posed to do.

If a woman is talking, and a
man does not know whether
she is asking for solutions, he
can find out quite easily by
asking: 'Would you like me to
listen as a boy or a girl?'

If she wants him to listen as
a girl, he has only to listen. If
she wants him to listen as a
boy, he can offer solutions.
Either way, both will be
happy because they know
what is expected.

3. Why do men keep flicking through the channels with the remote control?

FOR thousands of years, men
would return from the hunt
at the end of the day and
spend the evening just gazing
into the fire for long periods,
without communicating.

Fire-gazing was a valuable
form of stress relief, and a
way to recharge his batteries.
For the modem man, fire-
gazing still occurs at the end
of the day, but now Involves
tools like remote controls.

However, male channel- changing
is a pet hate of women
everywhere. At the end of a
long day, women like to relax
by becoming involved in a TV
show, especially anything
involving emotional scenes.

Her brain is organised to
read the words and body
language of the actors, and
she likes to predict outcomes
of relationship scenarios. She
also enjoys watching the
commercials.

Men prefer doing anything
that will take their mind off
a stressful situation, such as
flicking through TV channels,
surfing the internet,
working on the car, watering
the garden, working out in
the gym or his favourite
having sex.

As long as a man concentrates
on one thing, he is able
to forget his own troubles
and feel good about himself.

If a woman is worried about
a problem, it makes no difference
if she does any of these
things the problem still
preoccupies her multi-tracking
mind and she needs to
talk about it to get any relief.

SOLUTION: A woman needs to
tell a man that flicking
through the channels drives
her crazy, and ask if he could
not do it while she is watch-
ing her programme.

Alternatively, she can try
hiding the remote control. Or,
as a last resort, she can buy
her own TV set with her
own remote control.

4. Why do men love tasteless jokes?

MALE brains have an amazing
capacity for remembering
and storing jokes. Males think
it is hilarious to be crude,
whereas to most women,
none of it is remotely funny.

Jokes are so important as a
communication medium to
men that whenever there is a
global tragedy, the world's
email networks and faxes are
swamped with men sending
tragedy related jokes.

Herein lies the difference in
men and women in handling
serious emotional issues.
Women deal with calamity or

tragedy by openly
expressing their emo-
tions to others, but men
withhold their emotions
because showing them could
be seen as weakness.

Laughing and crying are
closely linked from a psycho-
logical and physiological
standpoint.  They both
instruct the brain to release
endorphins into the blood
stream. An endorphin is a
chemical that has a similar
composition to morphine and
heroin, and has a tranquillising
effect on the body.

The harder it is for a man to
talk about an emotional
event, the more he will laugh
when told a joke about it
however heartless and insen-
sitive it may seem to women.

Men rarely talk about their
sex lives to other men, so
they tell jokes about it as a
way of discussing it. Women
however, will discuss their sex
lives with their girlfriends in
graphic detail, without the
aid of any jokes.

SOLUTION: You should know
John sat still as the
fortune-teller gazed into
her crystal ball. Suddenly,
she started to laugh
loudly. John leaned
across and punched her
on the nose. Finally, he'd
struck a happy medium

that as long as there are
Irishmen, there will be Irish
jokes. Or Asian or Aussie or
feminist jokes. And every
time there's a tragedy, it will
invariably spawn its own set
of jokes. Being offended is a
choice. And choosing offence
tells the world that you are

unable to come to terms with
the problem addressed by
the joke that you aren't in
control of your own emotions
or are not prepared to face a
situation.

If a man insists on telling
inappropriate jokes at the
wrong time or place, tell him
you don't like it and you want
him to stop. If he continues
to do it, simply walk away
and do something else.

Or you could strike up a
conversation about his jokes
with the line: 'Do you know
any jokes that aren't nasty?'
and so turn the talk to a
general discussion about
the nature of humour.

 
5. Why do men make such a fuss
about going shopping?

HUNTER man developed
a form of tunnel vision,
(which enabled him to
move directly from A to B
in a straight path. The
amount of zigzagging
through shoppers and
stores needed for a suc-
cessful shopping expedi-
tion makes him feel
extremely uneasy.
Men were creatures

that made a quick kill
and went home again.
Today, that's exactly how
they like to shop.
Women shop the same
way their ancestors gathered
food heading off for the day
with a group of other women
to a place where someone
saw some tasty things grow-
ing.

They spent the day wander-
ing, squeezing, smelling, tast-
ing and feeling, and if nothing
was ripe they returned home.
The next day they went to
another place, until they
found something worth pick-
ing and taking home.

Research shows that most
men find shopping not only
unenjoyable, but actually
stressful and therefore
physically bad for them. For
women, however, it is a much-
loved form of stress relief.

SOLUTIONS: There are ways
to make men feel more posi-
tive about the shopping
experience.

Firstly, if you are food shop-
ping, let the man push the
trolley. He will like being in
control and 'driving'. He will
also like to pack the shopping
into bags at the checkout
it uses his spatial skills.

Ask him what he likes to eat
and add it to the trolley
treat it as his reward. Shop-
ping is not hard-wired into
the male brain, so incentives
are needed.

When shopping for clothes,
remember most men have a
shopping attention span of 30
minutes. If you must take
him with you, do it near a
hardware store so at least he
can go off and look at a new
DIY gadget for a while.

If you leave him outside a
changing room, get him
something to eat first. If you
want his opinion, ask if he
likes what you are wearing
not which of two or three
outfits he prefers.